Miracles

Today marks the month anniversary of the passing of our sweet niece, Eli. Brian and I were talking last night that it seems more like an eternity ago that it happened but the feelings we keep experiencing feel like it happened yesterday.

I have those quiet moments during the day when I choke up thinking about all that has happened. My heart aches for Kelli and Chauncy. I know the Lord is aware of Kelli and Chauncy and their needs and He is taking care of them. It is hard not to have my thoughts with them constantly throughout the day. I still can't take their Christmas card off my fridge, but I can't not look at it without crying.

I know miracles happened on that Christmas Eve. I know that Kelli being alive is a miracle in itself. I know that there is another child who is alive today because they have my nieces heart and other people that benefited from my brother in law's unselfishness, in seeing that in the midst of all his pain in grief other people could be saved.

I read a blog the other day that a woman ,who was very familiar with death due to losing both her parents to cancer and now being a grief counselor, said something that touched me and gave me great comfort. She said that "we are not our bodies" in terms of death and afterlife. At Eli's viewing it was hard not to cry and be upset that she was gone and that she was lying in a casket. Yes, I was angry that it was happening. It wasn't/isn't fair. I was wondering why/how Chauncy looked so peaceful and had the ability of comforting others. I think after reading that blog that I understand that he must of gotten the message before me, that we are not our bodies. That it wasn't Eli lying there, it was just her body. That Eli is not her body. Yes, still sad. But, great comfort knowing her spirit was in the arms of a loving Heavenly Father and that she was better than ok. I have to keep telling myself that, that she is better than ok. She touched many lives in her short 5 years. I believe in a loving Heavenly Father and that Kelli and Chauncy and all of the other people grieving her loss and Kelli's injuries, will be stronger and better people because of having experienced that love from Eli.

Kelli is doing wonderful. We are seeing miracles everyday in her healing. I didn't doubt how hard she would work to get back to be with her family. I have always admired her fighting spirit and her strength...physically, spiritually and mentally. She is showing us what she is really made of and I am so proud of her.

Not so Merry Christmas

The last two plus weeks have been very difficult for our family, my husband's brother's family, and many other families. Where to begin...

Friday, Christmas Eve my husband and parent's in law and sister in law, Tanya, were in the field next door to our house snowmobiling. I had been cooking all day to have most of the cooking down for Christmas Eve and Christmas done, since we were having family over this year. I was in the shower getting cleaned up when Brian came in and told me that there had been an accident. Brian's baby brother, Chauncy had called and told Tanya that Elise, their 5 year old daughter, and Kelli, his wife, were hit by a snowboarder while skiing and that Kelli was life-flighted off the mountain and Elise was being transported by ambulance and that is all he knew. Brian's parents took off to grab clothes and take off for Casper, WY. We had a family prayer and anxiously awaited news of Elise and Kelli's condition. Shortly after Brian's parents left, his mother called and said that Eli had passed away and that Kelli was in very critical condition and they didn't know if they were going to make it. The snowboarder who hit them also passed away.

At that moment, I crumbled. As a parent, I couldn't imagine what Chauncy was going through. Sure, she was my niece and my sister-in-law and I was completely devastated, but to be in Chauncy's shoes was unimaginable to me. The next couple of days were really a blur. We tried to have a "normal" Christmas for our girls, but it was hard between tears, shock and sadness.

We left on Monday, after getting Brian's parent's dogs into a kennel, for Casper. It was great just to be surrounded by family. The girls did amazing staying in a hotel for 10 days and the staff at the hotel were amazing!

Kelli, suffered a traumatic brain injury and a few other non life threatening injuries. On Wed, she was transferred to a rehabilitation facility in Denver that specializes in her specific brain injury. She has a long road to recovery but we are hopeful and have faith that she will one day be the Kelli we all loved. They have a 4 month old baby boy and a 3 year old little girl that miss her terribly. Chauncy has been a pillar of strength. He had to plan a funeral of his little girl, all while his wife was lying in a coma in ICU. He had to attend a funeral and burial of his daughter without the support or attendance of his wife and best friend. My heart aches for him! No one should have to go through this, it just isn't fair.

I know families are eternal and am grateful for the atonement and the knowledge I have of it. I am still MAD that it happened, but I am not mad at God. I know Elise is in a happier place and is watching over my girls now, I just grieve for the loss of a sweet little girl and the life that is now been altered in my sister in law.

If you would like to keep updated on my sister in laws progress you can check her caringbridge site. Thank you for all the prayers that you have offered for their family. We have witness miracles and we know we will continue to witness them as time goes on.